Friday, February 29, 2008

Growing up abdl

Growing up as an AB/DL

Teens who are infantilists are often referred to as teen babies (TB). Generally, adult baby and teen baby are not used in an exclusive manner. Teens who are adult babies are also teen babies. Infantilist teens often struggle with their urges for infantile items, treatment, or behavior. Often, the hardest part of this struggle is telling other people about these feelings - doing so during adolescence can mean social or parental rejection. Teen infantile behavior varies heavily, but is generally simpler than the AB/DL activities of adults.[citation needed]

While feelings of isolation are still a common part of the youths of AB/DLs, a number of online communities have developed, many of which have grown due to the increasing ease of accessing the internet.


Abdl Practices


Aside from the many things that AB/DLs would like to do, but cannot, there is an extensive list of practices that they might actually engage in. Some common elements and practices are listed here.

[edit] Diaper usage

A central practice to AB/DL is wearing a diaper. When wearing diapers, many AB/DLs like to urinate in them, and a smaller number[25], defecate in them. Others do not because they find such practices disgusting, do not enjoy it, do not want to go through the cleanup afterward, or wouldn't be able to without being obvious. Some AB/DLs have difficulty wetting their diapers when they want to, as the result of overtrained bladders or paruresis.

A common compromise between wanting to wear diapers and needing to go about daily life is to wear diapers under normal clothing. When adult babies do so, it is in their everyday mindset, as opposed to an infantile one. A few adult babies wear diapers all the time, and may seek to develop urinary incontinence. The level of enjoyment in wearing diapers all the time is mixed, and it may have lasting effects; some adult babies have found that the enjoyment diminishes rapidly when the need to wear diapers is always present.[26] Other AB/DLs enjoy wearing diapers intermittently more than they would enjoy wearing them all the time.

[edit] Coming out

A difficult choice that AB/DLs must make involves who to tell about their interests. This offers the possibility of being accepted for who they are, and not having to hide. However, it also includes the risk of disgrace at home, school, and work, or on the Internet

[edit] Finding a "mother" or "father"

A difficult part of life as an AB/DL is finding a compatible spouse. For diaper lovers, the search is difficult because there are few diaper lovers in the general population. Most people aren't particularly aroused by diapers. In contrast, adult babies would be seeking more of a caregiver. This search is hard since the desire to care for an adult baby is rare. Female AB/DLs are not necessarily willing to be mommies. Some AB/DLs are willing to be 'switch' mothers or fathers.

For DLs, there are some prostitutes willing to partake in diaper play. For ABs, there are professional "adult babysitters." Many seek the services of a Professional Dominatrix who specializes in role play activities centered around being the mother or Governess/Nanny figure.




The male body is less difficult to keep safe from infection caused by messy diaper-play. Use of a diaper for feces risks mess entering the vagina requiring more difficult cleanup and risking infection.

[edit] Femininity

Many AB/DLs seek a feminine role or the aspects of being a baby commonly associated with femininity (soft/fleecy clothing, lace, being seen as cute/attractive, not being seen as threatening etc.) A woman with a love for these can choose normal day-wear that will satisfy most of these desires. For the most part this is not an option for men.

[edit] Stress relief

While both genders suffer many stresses as adults, modern society offers few outlets for stress relief for men. The opportunity to regress to a childlike non-responsible state would seem likely therefore to be more appealing to men than to women.


Gender Association

Gender association

Particularly amongst sissy-babies, but also amongst some other AB/DLs, the time as a baby may be associated with softness and aspects of life seen as more feminine. This can then show as an AB/DL fetish later in life when trying to unravel unexpressed elements of femininity.

[edit] Gender Mix

There is a strong tendency for AB/DLs to be male. Estimates often quoted seem to claim around 95%. There are a number of reasons suggested for this, including the following...

[edit] Role

The baby role is specifically powerless. Social powerlessness is all too common for women and there can be a need to defend against that. Men are more likely to find powerlessness appealing as a contrast to their normal circumstances.

[edit] Child rearing

The associations women are taught to have with children are in a nurturing role, and are likely to be strongly non-sexual. As a result the sexual connotations of adult-babies are likely to be negative.


ABDL Origins


There are many different causes for Paraphilic Infantilism, and most AB/DLs are unaware of any specific reason for their AB/DL nature. Many AB/DLs describe incidents throughout their life from a young age that indicate that the inclination has been with them for a long time. Others discover a joy in it later in life.

[edit] Relief from stress

It seems common for "relief from stress" to be indicated as an important aspect, but it can be hard to determine if the stress results from the AB/DL nature or the AB/DL nature provides an escape from the stress. In either regard the attitude is often that in child-state there are none of the responsibilities of day-to-day life. This may be indicative of difficulties and stresses during toilet training, given that bladder/bowel control is the first responsibility most children are taught.

[edit] Negative incidents

Specific incidents may have occurred during childhood or adolescence that have caused nappies to get a sexual association, or that caused the developing child to feel safer when still in nappies. Examples can include so-called diaper-discipline still sometimes practiced on wayward children/teens, sexual abuse, or even simple chances of circumstance such as loss of a parent at the critical point of development. A number of AB/DL's report developmental delays in their bladder and/or bowel training, such as late bedwetting.


Sissy babies, Cross-Dressing

Sissy babies, cross-dressing

A sissy baby [24] is a male AB/DL who mixes gender play with infantilism. This cross-dressing might involve stereotypical or exaggerated "little girl" clothing, such as frilly panties or dresses. Sissies are not necessarily transsexual in that, while some might be expressing an alter ego that is a baby girl, they might not wish to be an adult woman at other times.

A separate group enjoys the masochistic demasculinization of being dressed as baby girl, analogous to non-AB/DL masochists who enjoy being cross-dressed by force.

[edit] Integrating other interests

The individual AB/DL may have other interests that have become integrated with AB/DL. Sissys are one example. In turn, a babyfur has integrated infantilism and furry fandom. Sissys and babyfurs are among many groups resulting from the integration of side-interests with infantilism. The combinations can themselves be combined in countless ways. For example, there are sissy babyfurs.


Common Fantasy Elements


Force or coercion is sometimes present in AB/DL fantasies. This can range from the inclusion of S&M or B&D play into AB scenarios through to more specifically AB scenarios such as the Diaper Discipline, or Petticoat Punishment in which a supposed older child or adult is regressed into a baby-state as punishment for misdemeanors. This can sometimes form a validation activity, where the AB mitigates their guilt for having AB desires with the fact that they are only in nappies as a punishment.

[edit] Identification

AB/DLs may enjoy looking at pictures showing whom they want to be, as opposed to whom they want to be with. For example, a heterosexual male adult baby may enjoy looking at pictures of men in diapers: he may be imagining himself as the men in the diapers.

[edit] Permanent regression

A common fantasy among adult babies involves a permanent return to a more infantile position. This may involve being put back in diapers or returned to the nursery for the rest of their life. These fantasies may be enjoyed even by ABs who are consciously aware that they would not want to give up their adult lives.

[edit] Exhibitionism

Modesty and self-consciousness are not expected from infants and small children. Babies can be out in public in just a diaper and t-shirt, and can have their diaper changed in public. There are no local, state, or national laws that prohibit adults from wearing diapers, t-shirts, diaper covers, or body suits (onesies). Nonetheless, an adult in an uncovered diaper can expect to be treated like any adult in uncovered underwear, although no citations to support this statement are offered here.